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Cold Sores Begone
My 2 year old wants to become a Televangelist?
She's been practicing day and night. She's gotten really good at making up scriptures and speaking in tongues.
Sometimes she makes me pretend to be ailing from some sort of disease (cancer, blood clots, cold sores) and she'll miraculously heal me by shoving my forehead backwards and yelling "DEMONS BEGONE!". She has a pulpit set up in her bedroom and all of her stuffed animals are sitting around it as her congregation.
She's been collecting sandbox sand in little plastic bags, and plans on selling it for the low low price of $49.99. It's labeled as "Jesus Sand: Walked on by Our Saviors sandals". I think this could be a lucrative and promising career for my little one.
My question is, do you have to certified in BS before you can become a Televangelist, or are the bad ones weeded out by Natural Selection? I would hate for my daughter to get her hopes up only to find out she can't hold water to such greats as Jerry Falwell and Jim Bakker. Should she claim to be born-again?
Wow, your 2 year old can do all that? That's cool, she sounds smarter than I do, lol. I'm concerned she might become a religious nut so you should let him do her own thing. See, I was so blown away by it all I just confused genders, ROTFLMAO. Are you a troll? WTF?
Essentials To Avert Vacation Disaster
You saved your pennies and planned the trip of a lifetime. You dieted all winter and can now fit into the sexiest wardrobe ever. You forgot your sun block and spend 6 of your 7 days in paradise with ice packs on your eyes in an oatmeal bath!
Vacation fiascos…sadly, we've all had them. And sun block is just the beginning. So this vacation, pack like a Girl Scout. One easy way is to visit 3floz.com This new online store carries all TSA-friendly beauty and grooming items from some of the best brands in beauty — all 3 fluid ounces or less (no more confiscated items at the gate – hooray!).
To make sure you don't return from St. Thomas looking like a lobster, try their Ahava All-Day Sunshield Kit . The All-Day Sunshield Travel Kit includes Sun Protection Anti-Aging Moisturizer with an SPF 30, plus Aftersun Rehydrating Balm for Body & Face – both for only $25.
In addition to fabulous Ahava kits – like their Best of Beauty Kit and the Frequent Flyer (Ready. Set. Jet) – 3floz.com also boasts best-selling brands like Archipelago Botanicals, Baxter of California, Pangea Organics, SpaRitual, and more. Plus, they offer free shipping on all orders of $100 or more!
So, now that you've packed the sun block, you might be tempted to stay in the sun a little too long… and that could spell trouble. A sun-induced cold sore will absolutely kill your vacation, so be prepared! Throw a tiny bottle of Cold Sores Begone™ in your luggage, just in case. At the first warning symptom (and I mean the first tingle!), dab on a couple of drops. Infection aborted. No cold sore. None. Nada.
Cold Sores Begone is only $11.00 and is available both online and at health food stores like Whole Food Markets and Sprouts, plus fine retailers nationwide.
Feeling pretty organized and ready for anything now? Wait just a minute! One last disaster-proofing item must be stowed in that bag. Because even a well-planned getaway can quickly turn into disaster for anyone who has ever suffered from motion sickness.
I personally do not like to take drugs if I don't have to. And the common side effects caused by many nausea medications — blurred vision, dry mouth and drowsiness — are really not how I envision spending my dream vacation. But now, there are Psi Bands to the rescue! A Psi Band is basically an acupressure wrist band that relieves nausea or motion sickness, naturally with no side effects.
Psi Bands come in five different fun designs, are adjustable at two areas (around the wrist like a watch and at the acupressure point for personalized comfort) and are waterproof. Best of all, Psi bands are FDA-cleared, reusable, and affordable.
Psi Bands come two per set and sell for $14.99-$19.99. They are available nationwide at Rite Aid, plus numerous regional chains, and of course online .
Now, get out that suitcase and start packing!
About the Author
Susan McNeill is a wife, mother, author, entrepreneur and social activist. http://blog.whimsyworldwide.com
